Eulogy to Granny (by Kevin Antao) This eulogy is a difficult task, one that was never going to be easy. I am determined however that it represents a celebration and a positive reflection on an inspiring life for us all Granny spoke of this occasion frequently and asked for minimal fuss. I think she would have wanted all of us to feel comforted and that her passing should represent some kind of hope for the future. All I can do is try to repay her great sense of giving by paying tribute to her beautiful life As with many cases of loss, there is this sudden realisation of just how precious and privileged that you are to share in someone’s life. In Granny’s case, this privilege was truly exceptional - her rich life story and profound characteristics meant that every time anyone saw her, there was this wonderful and special feeling that often made you discover more about life in general We all casually refer to Granny as precisely that – Granny. She was Granny to so many friends and family alike. This single term is so full of meaning; all of us can identify the affection and the sense of security we felt just by simply recounting her name. The thought of not speaking to her again, of not just simply saying “Granny”, marks the loss of warmth and comfort that her company brought to us all. Granny was born in Benaulim, in Goa on November 06th 1919. I can only imagine Granny’s gleeful childhood, maybe eating fresh coconuts and running bare foot on Goa’s white sandy beaches Granny’s life was earmarked by constant motion. In the early years, like many compatriots she moved from Goa to Kenya, and one can only imagine how this little girl from Benaulim was thrust onto a daunting sea voyage across the Indian Ocean to face a new life in Africa She grew up quickly, and married in her teens to become a devoted mother bearing 5 children (Emiliano, Eric, Casmiro, Phil, and Matilda). I remember her stories of early motherhood, and how she must have felt as a young mother in a new country facing the challenge of bringing up a large family. And yet still I remember her great pragmatism, her talent around the stove and her determination for her offspring to succeed no matter what the challenge As her children grew and then emigrated to the West, in the 1970’s she followed their path to the UK, bringing in another continent and once again underlining her commitment and devotion to her family. This time she faced greater uncertainty after losing my grandfather in 1975, meaning that she spent nearly 35 years as a widow Having spent a life of great devotion to her husband and children, it is admirable how she then turned to the upbringing of her grandchildren, unselfishly devoting time and energy to this new “Western” family. In the 1980’s and 90’s she based herself in Leicester and Sittingbourne, her love of travel also enabling her to visit places such as Israel, Lourdes, the USA and Canada amongst others It was probably at this time that I personally began to discover the fascinating wealth of knowledge that my grandmother offered. In a world where it is often the case where the young may mock or underestimate their elders, Granny was a highly relevant character in my teenage years, offering advice and wisdom and demonstrating how faith, love and devotion to the family represented a true path to life. This positive example continued throughout this decade, and her inspiration to her 11 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren will always be present. Reflecting on Granny’s character, I think it neatly fits into 5 key traits – what I believe were the 5 F’s. First of all, “fun”, her great sense of fun that is. I never forget laughing with her as a child, the sheer joy and pleasure when seeing an episode of Harold Lloyd, or when an opponent was beaten heavily in a game of Seven Hand. Secondly, no one will ever forget her food. The chapattis and the rice and fish curry were skills acquired from her early years, but she often experimented with great success and my cousins will swear by her Kentish Goan gooseberry pickle, her sprats and variants on pizza and, believe it or not, fried chicken skin! Food was important because it sustained the third “F” – family. Granny’s sacrifice for family was total and unquestioning, family led her to reside in four continents and although untrained she spoke five languages. In today’s modern global society, I feel that Granny was probably a pioneer in terms of globalisation. She settled quickly into various communities, wisely understanding that regardless of the differences of culture or situation, family and love were the common tools of integration The fourth and fifth “F’s” are connected. Granny was fearless due to her deep faith. Man’s common troubles rarely bothered her; Granny was brave, independent, and held a deep and beautiful inner strength that sought higher goals. Even on her deathbed, she displayed enormous reserves of strength, her mind and body remaining alert despite not having eaten for months. Her devotion, love for this church, friendship and support of the clergy demonstrated her love of God, and the great hope to be at peace in the kingdom of heaven. It is this final prayer that brings us great hope. I pray that she is now at rest in eternity and at peace with her maker. Granny’s influence and inspiration will remain with all of us for the rest of our lives. If she could hear me now my final simple message would be: “Thank you for sharing your beautiful life with me, thank you for caring for me and nurturing me. Rest in peace Gran, I love you.”